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Relationships through the Social Media lens

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With the news of Arianna Grande and Pete Davidson’s shock split after a whirlwind relationship and super quick engagement, it seems an appropriate time to discuss the impact of celebrities and social media on ‘normal’ relationships.

Even those who don’t follow the celebrity gossip magazines and blogs inevitably hear of the biggest break ups. Most of us will remember Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore and above all, Prince Charles and Princess Diana. But how do these affect us?

How many times have you posted a picture of your boyfriend/ girlfriend/ husband/ wife with a glass of wine in their hand in a restaurant where you’re lovingly enjoying a romantic candlelit dinner for two? Or a picture of you holding hands on the beach gazing into the sunset over the waves? Or even a selfie of you snuggled up on the sofa in front of the fire watching TV with a takeaway on the coffee table? Probably most of you at some stage.

What people don’t post are the before and after of those ‘cherished’ moments, when the wife has taken 2 hours curling her hair, they’re late for their table and they end up in the run down pub down the road rather than the luxury bistro at which they had originally planned to eat. Or when the husband has locked them out of the hotel room so they’re gazing into the sunset but not speaking to one another after the row. Or if they are snuggled up eating a takeaway but they’ve not been able to buy food all week to save up for it because the girlfriend spent £80 on a pair of heels the weekend before?

Social media does not accurately reflect relationships. All couples bicker, get poorly, get tired and grumpy, snap for no reason, snap for good reason, drink the last of the milk, forget to replace the loo roll… the list goes on.

Social media imposes a false sense of eternal happiness in relationships, whether you’re a celebrity or not. Filtered pictures on Instagram can make partners think they’re missing out, and they want ‘more’ and ‘better’, but what is ‘better’? The perfect relationship for one person could be a living hell for someone else.

What celebrity fans sometimes fail to remember is that a celebrity break up may not be a ‘shock’ to the couple. Equally, when you’re gossiping about the couple in the school playground who have ‘suddenly’ split up and started collecting little Alice on different days, they haven’t just decided to separate overnight. It is very likely that that couple have come to that decision after a lot of thought and a long struggle to make it work, but to keep up appearances, they’ve hidden their inner struggles and put a brave face on.

Separating isn’t easy, telling the kids isn’t easy and divorce certainly isn’t easy, no matter what your social status. Psychologists have identified 7 stages of a break up

  1. Shock
  2. Denial
  3. Isolation
  4. Anger
  5. Bargaining
  6. Depression
  7. Acceptance.

The stages do not always follow in that order; and sometimes a person can move from one stage to another and then back again.

Divorce lawyers see people at each and every stage of their break-up. We are here to support you through every step, to guide you and advise you as to the best route for you. Divorce is personal and so are we. You should never be afraid to take legal advice following a separation, our main aim is to get you through it by helping you to get to day one of your new life.

For specialist advice on any family law related issue contact Maguire Family Law by email: james.maguire@family-law.co.uk or telephone:

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