Moving On After Divorce – Not Swiftie Style

Unlike Taylor Swfit, you don’t need to pen a hit album to move on and would be well advised to keep matters more private, explains James Maguire, MD, Maguire Family Law.

This month, singer-songwriter Taylor Swift released her much anticipated 11^th studio album, The Tortured Poets Department. Many of the songs on the album focus on past relationships, and many ‘Swifties’ have deduced that some of the lyrics refer to her ex-Joe Alwyn who she parted ways with last year, following a six-year relationship.

At the time, Taylor Swift remained tight lipped about their notoriously private relationship, but it appears that she could have been waiting for the right moment to share her feelings.

Whilst few of us would be tempted to pen an album during a relationship or marriage breakdown, many are inclined to take to social media to share their feelings. This can take the form of direct references to their ex, or more vague status updates which could be open to interpretation.

As divorce lawyers, we always urge caution and advise our clients not to be tempted to act on impulse when it comes to updating social channels during a relationship breakdown.

Our advice would be to refrain from posting anything at all relating to your divorce case or break up – even deleted or hidden posts can be found and could come back to bite further down the line. The most innocent posts about nights out with friends or new purchases or holidays, can be subject to misinterpretation or misunderstanding during divorce proceedings.

We understand that going through a divorce or relationship break up can be hugely traumatic; emotions are running high, and people often need an outlet for their feelings. If the thought of coming off your social channels entirely fills you with dread, do post with caution. Maintain a degree of privacy, avoid mentioning your ex and think about how your posts could be viewed six-months or a year down the line.

We always advise our clients to seek support offline. Share your feelings with family and friends; talking things through in the open may mean you’re less tempted to take to social media. There are also local support groups which can be hugely helpful before, during and after a divorce case and seeking professional help from a counsellor is another great way to work through your feelings in an anonymous setting.