Grey divorce: five things to consider when separating in later life

What is grey divorce?

‘Grey divorce’ or ‘silver splitters’ refers to couples in the later stages of their lives choosing to separate. The number of divorces amongst couples over 60 has increased significantly in recent years, despite a drop in the divorce rate for younger couples.

Why are more couples divorcing in later life?

People are living longer: retirement can bring reflection on whether a relationship still serves a person’s needs or if they could be happier in the years they have remaining. It’s also a time for reevaluating personal goals and ambitions, which can draw spouses in different directions.

Changing societal attitudes: the stigma around divorce has reduced significantly and people no longer feel obliged to stay with a partner out of fear of judgement.

Financial independence: more women, who are driving this trend, have financial autonomy, making it an easier decision to leave a partner if they are not dependent on them.

Empty nests: an empty nest can reveal that spouses have little in common outside of raising their children, prompting people to make a change.

What is different about a later-life divorce?

Whilst the legal process remains much the same regardless of age, grey divorce brings with it unique financial, emotional and social considerations. A fair financial settlement is especially paramount in these cases, as people may be retired or thinking about retirement and have less time following a split to rebuild financial security. With years of shared assets to navigate, alongside inheritance and long-term care plans to consider, grey divorce requires a specialist approach.

Five factors to consider

1. Don’t overlook pensions

Pensions can be one of the most valuable assets, particularly in later life, but are often overlooked when it comes to divorce. For those who are retired or thinking about retirement, a fair division of pension assets could be crucial to protecting their financial future. Some people may have taken time out of work to care for children or felt assured that they would be covered by their partner’s pension, but a divorce can put this into question.

As such, it’s important to ensure that any pensions are taken into consideration when negotiating a financial settlement and for people to think before dismissing their share in favour of other assets.

2. A clean break vs spousal maintenance

Another financial consideration is spousal maintenance, which can be more common in later-life divorces. Whilst the courts usually aim for a ‘clean break’ financial settlement, where there are long marriages, significant health considerations and income disparities, spousal maintenance may be required to ensure the dependent spouse’s needs are met.

3. The fate of the family home

What happens to the family home can be one of the most contested factors in a grey divorce. Understandably, many people are emotionally attached and want to hold on to a property they’ve lived in for decades — it’s not just an asset, but a place full of memories. As such, who will remain in the home, or whether it should be sold, can be a complex matter to resolve.

Some spouses may opt to sell the home and divide the proceeds, whilst others will agree for one party to remain in the property, with appropriate financial compensation for the other party. The best decision depends on the individual circumstances of every couple, but it’s important to consider the costs associated with keeping the home independently and not to let emotions alone dictate the decision.

4. Grief, growth and new beginnings

Divorce is never easy to navigate, but for couples who have spent decades together, the emotional toll can be particularly challenging. For some, separation may trigger feelings of grief and uncertainty about the future, alongside the impact on family dynamics. Seeking support, reaching out to friends and finding new routines and hobbies are all things that can help to lighten the emotional load.

For others, a separation brings a renewed sense of freedom and excitement about what’s ahead, with the rise in grey divorce, in part, fuelled by those who no longer want to stay in unfulfilling relationships.

5. The impact on adult children

Divorcing in later life likely means that any children are now adults, so most silver splitters won’t need to consider child arrangements. However, this doesn’t mean that it won’t have an impact; they will still be grappling with their own thoughts and feelings on the separation and what it means.

The family home may have to be sold as part of the financial settlement, and it can feel like a seismic shift if they’ve grown up with a strong family unit which now feels fractured. If children are now adults, it can be more tempting to turn to them for emotional support, but this can place additional strain on relationships and cause people to feel stuck in the middle, so seeking professional support from a counsellor can help to avoid this.

Specialist support for silver splitters

Separating in later life brings with it unique emotional, financial and social considerations that require specialist guidance. Beyond family law support, it is also a time to revisit estate and tax planning.

If you’re thinking about a divorce or would like to discuss your options, our expert team can help to ensure your future is protected. At Maguire Family Law, we support you in securing the best possible outcomes and enable you to divorce with dignity — it’s never too late to start a new chapter.

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