Divorce: Spying on your spouse

The dark side of technology: Spying on your spouse and the role of spyware in coercive control

What do you typically associate technology with? Perhaps it’s staying connected with loved ones, keeping up with the latest news, tracking the whereabouts of family and friends for safety, or indulging in online shopping.

Influencing almost every facet of our lives, technological advancements have unlocked a whole host of opportunities. However, this also means that in today’s world, misuse of technology is much more common. One worrying trend that we’ve seen at Maguire Family Law is the increasing use of spyware and other surveillance methods to monitor spouses. Divorce specialist, Henry Venables, discusses the implications in family law proceedings here. 

As spyware has become increasingly affordable, some use it to seek confirmation of an affair or to uncover information to aid a divorce case. Even more sinisterly, it’s sometimes used to exert control over a partner.

This blog delves into this worrying trend, exploring the role of technology in coercive control and how people can protect themselves.

How can technology enable coercive control?

Coercive control involves a pattern of behaviours aimed at dominating a partner through various forms of psychological manipulation, isolation, and intimidation. With the advent of sophisticated, accessible spyware, controlling partners now have another tool at their disposal to enforce control, making it even more challenging for victims to reclaim their autonomy. Spyware allows an abuser to monitor their partner’s every move, access personal information, and even track their physical location, often without the victim’s knowledge.

Alarmingly, 40% of the divorce cases we handle now include instances of one spouse spying on the other. This represents a 20% increase over the past 15 months, rising from 1 in 5 cases in 2022 to 2 in 5 cases in 2023. Disturbingly, a new iPhone charging device equipped with a micro-transmitter is now available for under £150 – compared to its previous price of around £1,500. This device allows spyware to be installed on a phone while charging, enabling access to everything from data to keystrokes and passwords.

Spyware can be secretly installed on smartphones, tablets, and computers, allowing the controlling partner to read emails, text messages, and listen to phone calls. Software can also record keystrokes, giving the abuser access to passwords and other private information. Many spyware apps also have GPS tracking, allowing abusers to monitor their victim’s location in real-time, increasing their control.

Is my partner spying on me?

Recognising the signs of a spying partner can be challenging, often leaving the victim in doubt, but there are some subtle indicators. These include:

• Unusual battery drain: Spyware often runs constantly in the background, leading to faster battery depletion.
• Increased data usage: Monitoring and data transmission by spyware can cause a significant spike in data usage.
• Strange device behaviour: Phones or computers may act erratically, including random reboots or slowdowns.
• Unexplained changes in settings: Abusers might alter device settings to facilitate easier monitoring.
• Unexpected app installations: You discover unfamiliar apps or software installed on your device that you didn’t download or recognise.
• Problems with your device: Your device frequently crashes, shuts down unexpectedly, or exhibits other technical issues.
• Increased suspicion from your partner: Your partner seems unusually interested in your digital activities or devices, asking questions that seem intrusive.

The legal and emotional impact of spousal surveillance

The use of spyware in a marital relationship is not just a violation of privacy; it constitutes a form of coercive control with profound legal and emotional ramifications. Victims of such surveillance often experience heightened anxiety, paranoia, and a sense of helplessness. Legally, the unauthorised installation and use of spyware can constitute grounds for serious legal ramifications and can significantly influence divorce proceedings.

Challenges in addressing digital abuse

One of the primary challenges in addressing digital abuse is the covert nature of spyware. Victims may not even be aware that they are being monitored, and proving the existence of spyware can be difficult without technical expertise. Additionally, victims may be too scared to seek help in case their partner can see them doing so by reading their communications or tracking their location.

Strategies for protecting against spyware

For individuals suspecting they are a victim of digital surveillance, several steps can be taken:

• Seek professional assistance: Engaging a cybersecurity expert to check devices for spyware can be crucial.
• Use secure communication methods: Utilise encrypted messaging apps and email services to protect communications.
• Regularly update devices: Keeping software and operating systems up to date can help protect against known vulnerabilities.
• Reset devices: Performing a factory reset can remove many forms of spyware, though this should be done cautiously and with professional advice.

In summary

The misuse of technology to spy on a spouse is a form of coercive control that disregards people’s right to privacy. Recognising the signs of spyware, understanding the profound impact it can have, and taking strategic steps to be vigilant are unfortunately vital in the digital age.  If you are going through a divorce and have suspicions about your spouse, speak to your divorce lawyer. Legal professionals and support networks can play an essential role in helping victims reclaim their privacy and autonomy, ensuring that technology serves as a tool for empowerment rather than oppression. Maguire Family Law can help.