There is an old saying, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” and many people may be able to relate to this following the breakdown of a marriage or a relationship. This saying is not just restricted to women, as detailed below, but summarises the anger and rage that people can feel when their relationship breaks down and what drives them to do things they never believed that they would.
I started to think about this when I read an extract from Michelle Mone’s book “My Fight To The Top”, the business woman behind Ultimo bras who is now divorced. She would certainly describe herself as a woman scorned.
Michelle Mone sets out how the heartbreak of discovering her now ex-husband’s adultery led to her act uncontrollably. She details how she took a knife to her now ex-husband’s beloved Porsche, threw away his favourite cufflinks and shirts, cut holes in his boxer shorts, put laxatives in his coffee and threw water in his bed. She also threw all of the possessions of the lady whom Michelle discovered her ex-husband was having an affair with and who lived in their guest house all over the garden.
Michelle sets out how this was just the start of a bitter battle between her and her ex-husband as they both refused to leave the former matrimonial home and therefore shared the same for eight months. Bitter legal proceedings also ensued. Things were eventually resolved with the former matrimonial home being sold and Michelle’s ex-husband selling his shares in Ultimo but Michelle confirms that it was only after this battle that Michelle reflected and considered the impact of this upon her children. It is difficult to see and acknowledge the effect that warring parents can have on children as people understandably can be consumed by hurt and upset, regardless of why the marriage has broken down. However, as a family law solicitor at Maguire Family Law , I feel that it is important to try to acknowledge the hurt and anguish that a party feels but at the same time be a calming influence and give sound and clear advice to try to resolve the financial matters quickly and without the children becoming caught in the middle. Family lives offer useful tips on how to deal with anger after divorce and separation.
Anger and scorn often form part of the divorce process. Anger has some benefits in that it allows you to vent your anger and receive sympathy, it can be punishing, it can motivate you to fight back, it creates pain avoidance in the short term. Ultimately you will have to deal with the pain in order to move forward. In equal measure anger is detrimental; it is bad for your health, it is all consuming, it hurts people you love and alienates you from them eventually.
Let go of your anger. Move forward; engage in things you enjoy; count your blessings; be good to yourself and this will help you to exude more love.
At Maguire Family Law we often hear of cases like Michelle Mone’s. I also recall a news article detailing how a warring couple drew a line down their house to set out where each party could go and a husband who took a chainsaw to the sofa, marital bed and other possessions so that his wife could have exactly half of everything as she sought!
Whilst the comical side is often portrayed in articles written by the media, the reality is very different. At Maguire Family Law we endeavour to understand the emotional aspect of separation upon clients but at the same time, ensure that we remain focused on providing clear advice and resolving matters for clients as amicably and smoothly as possible.