The price of a post: social media and divorce disputes

Amidst a difficult relationship breakdown, it can be tempting to turn to social media as an outlet for emotions, particularly when a partner has done something wrong. Whilst Lily Allen has recently seen great success by airing the details of her divorce in her new album, in most cases, publicly sharing this information won’t lead to a career boost or a cash influx – in fact, it could have the opposite effect.

Social media posts are increasingly playing a starring role in divorce proceedings, being used as evidence in court, as well as being a catalyst for conflict. What seems like a harmless Facebook rant on a Friday night could leave you red-faced with regret should it come up in legal proceedings. In some instances, posts can impact child arrangements and financial arrangements, too.

Oversharing and comparing: the negative impact of social media

As part of our ongoing amicable divorce campaign, which encourages separating couples to prioritise cooperation over conflict, we looked at the role that social media is playing in divorce disputes.

Our survey of 2,000 UK adults found that a third of people think that the use of social media platforms such as X, Instagram, Facebook and TikTok increases conflict amid a relationship breakdown. With more people than ever sharing details of their lives across social media, 37% believe it fuels unhealthy comparisons during and after a separation, and 31% think it makes it harder to move on.

Additionally, an increasing number of people are citing their partner’s excessive social media use as a reason for seeking a divorce in the first place.

The legal implications 

More than a third (36%) of those surveyed felt that people overshare on social media platforms, posting details of their separation or airing their emotions.

Naturally, people going through a relationship breakdown are experiencing heightened emotions at a really difficult time in their lives, making it tempting to turn to social media to vent about a situation or former spouse. Whether it’s fuelled by a solicitor’s letter, a disappointing update or news of a new partner, people are increasingly taking to popular platforms as a reaction.

Not only does this heighten conflict, but it can also have legal implications too. Child arrangements could be impacted if a person is accused of creating a negative impression of their former partner and influencing their children’s opinion of, or relationship with, them and promoting a particular lifestyle on social media could influence financial matters such as spousal maintenance. Even engaging with posts expressing a certain view could be seen as inflammatory.

The positives: community, connection and co-parenting

It’s not all doom and gloom; in contrast to the negative influence of social media during divorce, nearly 4 in 10 (38%) of those surveyed highlighted the positive impact that it can have for people experiencing a difficult separation. Nearly a quarter (22%) think it provides an outlet for emotions, whilst 16% said it offers a valuable support network at a time when people may feel isolated, offering connection and a sense of community.

In some instances, social media can be a valuable tool in providing evidence of hidden assets or inappropriate behaviour during divorce proceedings. It can also help co-parents communicate and stay up to date on what their children are up to when they’re with the other parent

Gen Z and the future of divorce

The research also sheds light on what the future could hold for Gen Z divorces, with social media set to play an increasingly prominent role in separations over the next 10-20 years. Of those surveyed, 44% of 18–24-year-olds and 59% of 24–34-year-olds think that it encourages people to compare their lives to others, suggesting social media could be a factor that drives up divorce rates as young couples compare their own relationships to those of the lives they see online.

With so many examples of people thriving post-divorce and encouraging people to take themselves out of unhappy relationships, young people are increasingly exposed to the idea that they could be happier elsewhere. Additionally, 73% of 18-34-year-olds think that social media provides people with an outlet for their emotions, suggesting that posts will increasingly come up in court as people turn to platforms to air their frustrations.

Take a moment

Social media is set to play an increasingly complex role in family law going forward. Whilst emotions are high, we would urge people to never make emotionally charged decisions when going through divorce proceedings. Taking a moment to pause before posting and finding alternative outlets for emotions can be key to avoiding the escalation of a situation and the embarrassment of a post being read out in court.

An emotional outpouring is often cathartic at the end of a relationship, but it’s best to keep this offline.