Cooperation over conflict: reducing the impact of divorce on children

As part of our amicable divorce campaign, we recently commissioned a survey of 2,000 UK adults to uncover the impact that a difficult, acrimonious divorce can have on various aspects of people’s lives. From finances and friendships to work performance and mental wellbeing, we set out to show how striving for cooperation over conflict can have far-reaching benefits for those navigating a relationship breakdown. 

The findings 

When asked what factors are most impacted by a difficult divorce, 68% of respondents said children’s wellbeing above both financial circumstances and mental health. We also looked at the specific challenges children might face, with 42% citing emotional strain and 27% pointing to the experience of feeling caught in the middle, alongside disruption to living arrangements and lifestyle. 

Reducing the impact on children 

With court delays and backlogs prolonging children’s exposure to unhappy homes and intensifying family tensions, pursuing an amicable divorce has never been more important. Whilst a relationship breakdown will often present challenges for children, if a separation is handled in the right way, it can significantly reduce the emotional impact and allow them to thrive in a conflict-free environment. 

The benefits of mediation 

One alternative to court is mediation, which can help parties reach resolutions faster and with more flexibility. Mediation offers a relaxed, informal environment for parents to discuss arrangements and make collaborative decisions with their children’s interests in mind, going beyond what would be addressed by the courts. By maintaining a line of communication, families can navigate separation in a way that minimises conflict and helps them to accelerate their journey to day one of their new lives. Mediation can also help people to adjust to co-parenting, working through what this new dynamic will look like and how both parties can best retain a positive relationship with their children.

Professional help 

Seeking support from a professional can also help parents move forward in a way that works for them and their children. If children are exposed to parental arguments, adult issues or one parent speaking badly about the other, this can have a negative impact, potentially leading them to side with one parent in extreme situations. A counsellor or divorce coach can provide a safe, constructive outlet for emotions to avoid children becoming the go-betweens in disputes and feeling that they are stuck in the middle. Children can also speak with a mediator or family counsellor to share their thoughts and feelings and help shape the decisions that their parents make. 

Communication and emotional support 

Alongside avoiding parental conflict, pursuing collaborative resolutions and seeking professional support, it’s also important to reassure children that the separation is not their fault, communicate what is happening in a way that they’ll understand and encourage them to talk about how they’re feeling and any questions they may have, so children feel that they are able to openly discuss what the separation means for them. 

In the midst of divorce proceedings and emotionally turbulent times, it’s crucial to keep children’s wellbeing front of mind. Striving to keep things amicable and working together to reach resolutions not only benefits them, but parents, too. 

How can Maguire Family Law help? 

Our team of dedicated solicitors and mediators are here to guide you and your family through divorce proceedings in a way that works for you. 

To find out more about keeping your children’s best interests at heart and co-parenting effectively, you can read our guide. 

If you’re exploring your options and want to know if mediation is right for your situation, our expert team can help.