Co-Parenting Around Christmas

Five ways to make co-parenting easier this Christmas

Whether it’s your first Christmas post-separation, or you’ve been navigating it for years, the festive season brings challenges for co-parents. When there are emotions involved, it can be difficult to retain a harmonious environment. Here, we share some tips for keeping the peace and prioritising the best interests of your children.

Agree on a similar gift budget

Ahead of the big day, it’s a good idea to communicate with your ex-partner and decide on a rough budget for gifts that you both agree not to exceed. This can help to prevent any arguments and ensures that if financial circumstances differ between parents, the children don’t notice a big disparity in the value of the presents received.

Navigate new partners

One of the main things we see co-parents argue about is introductions to new partners. It’s understandable, as it can evoke strong emotions, and parents are cautious of children being introduced to and sharing occasions with new partners. This can be especially difficult to navigate at Christmas and key dates in the calendar might not be the best time for new introductions. It’s advisable to have a conversation ahead of time to see what each parent is happy with and decide what is in the best interests of the children.

Share the special occasions

Another difficult decision at Christmas can be which days will be spent with who. This is even more of a challenge when parents are in two different countries. Whilst some separated parents may choose to spend Christmas Day together with their children, this is an unlikely arrangement for most, so there are several options you could consider. For example, alternating which parent the children spend Christmas Day with each year or one parent taking Christmas Eve and Christmas Day morning and then swapping over for the afternoon and Boxing Day.

Whatever arrangement you come to, make sure to communicate it to your children, and take into account their views. However, don’t ask them to make the decision themselves, as this can be a lot of pressure if they’re concerned about disappointing a parent.

Divide the cost of Christmas

Christmas is expensive, especially for parents. To avoid one of you shouldering the burden, make sure to divide costs such as trips, teacher gifts and visits to Santa. It’s also important to share the mental load. With so much to remember and attend over the festive season, particularly if you have younger children, then splitting tasks such as getting a school play costume or remembering a Christmas raffle prize means it won’t be overwhelming for one parent.

Stay positive

Christmas is the most magical time of the year for children, but it can also be one of the most difficult for co-parents with heightened emotions, fears of missing out on special moments and increased tension between ex-partners. Where possible, keep an open line of communication with the other parent, plan in advance and try to keep a positive environment by avoiding speaking negatively about your ex-partner. Consider what new traditions and memories you could create. If there’s ever a time to put your differences aside, it’s Christmas.

Legal support

If you’re struggling to reach an agreement with your ex-partner about arrangements over the festive season, you could consider family mediation to come to a resolution. Whilst it is possible to apply to the court for a specific issues order if a solution can’t be agreed upon, given the time scales and the fact the court will require you to try mediation first, this is unlikely to be the best route forward.

At Maguire Family Law, we have a Resolution trained family law mediator who can support you in reaching a resolution that works for you and your children. Get in touch to find out how we can help.